Tuesday, January 18, 2011

I am resolute....

Alrighty gals.  I said I would revisit this topic....

I don't do resolutions.  Not usually.

Every time I try to, I fail at them.  Defiantly.  I don't like it hanging over my head.

Recently I started feeling guilty about not being resolute to loose weight or get fit.  Especially when I go into the store or pick up a magazine or turn on the tv, even standing online at the post office overhearing conversations.  Everything this time of the year pertains to dieting resolutions....gettting thinner.  Going to the gym, weight watchers blah, blah, blah. 

My mind said.. "I know I should.  I know I need  to. 
My body says please do"
Tying my shoes should not be this dificult..right?  I'm out of breath...that's simply not normal.  I'm certainly not huge, but I'm not comfortable in my skin right now.  Hence, GUILT TURNED INTO ADMITANCE.

Retrieving something from upstairs is a task these days and I have to think over whether it can wait or not so I don't exert myself.  Pa-lease! I'm out of shape. 

I'm short so chub looks even worse on me.

I used to be a very physical person.  Really I was.  I played sports when I was younger, I ran, cheered, played soccer, jumped hurdles and pitched fast balls....a distant past.  I thought I still had that competitive edge.  That was until last September rolled around and our family reunion came.  Playing the family kickball game...my competitive mind forgot that my body couldn't quite keep up with it....but tried anyway.  I paid for a week, lets just leave it at that....it was bad.

Also, I can no longer tell myself it's perfectly alright because I just had a baby...he's past toddlerhood now. Ridiculous right?

I want to be healthier.  It's now not about thin or chubby It's about feeling better! 

But I like food.  Good food?  Really like it....alot.  Especially all those recipes you girls post out there in blogland that I haveta' try.

(These are actual ads....terrible isn't it?  Funny too.)

Actually I'm pretty happy...just a lil outta shape, ok, alot outta shape!

So confession time:

I'm gettin too big for my Britches....yes, too big.
Carrying a little too much junk in the trunk.
I am trying to lose weight, but it keeps finding me.
I'll be selling shade in a few more years if I continue on this path of indecency.
(colorful isn't it?)

About 8 years ago I started running again with my extremely thin cousin  (who was like a drill sargent).  Within no time, I had lost a few pounds, felt great and dropped a few sizes.  I proudly wore those size smalls again for a while.  I have yet to still part with them...(just for proof). It was easier then since I didn't have a lot to loose and I could carry my weight around making running not so very hard, oh and should I not forget the 8 years younger, yup that helped too.

I would run again but the friction burn hurts my thighs so bad I can't walk for a few days after!  Oh my, did I just confess that?  I know this isn't  really a funny topic but I have to make light of it.  To laugh about it all ...thats exercise after all right?  Laughing?  Did you know that 100 laughs a day is equal to 10 minutes of exercise, I actually read that!  Really?   I get the giggles so often I should already be so skinny!
ONION diet warning...Is this because you are crying so hard you cannot eat?   Don't think it would stop me...I love onions.

I've done Curves, Jazzercise, step classes, Lucille Roberts, Billy Banks Taebow......Sweatin to the Oldies with Gene, Denise Richards, those walk it off tapes all on VHS.......I bought the biggest looser on DVD....A YEAR AGO!  It's still all safely wrapped in it's casing while I decide if it is "right for me".  You name it.  Atkins, South beach, Weight watchers, the soup diet, oh dare I mention slim fast...mmmhmmmm.  They're all on my exercise resume, some I'm ashamed to even admit.  I've watched Biggest Looser too.  Cheered them on...with popcorn in hand! 
I even pray....


Amen to that.

The fact that I have thyroid disease doesn't help the matter either...it's all so frustrating.  The fact that I rarely make time for myself to prepare the proper meals and portions contributes for sure.  So I know how I've gotten this way now how to fix it is the dilema.

Recap I don't like to diet, count calories, go to meetings, have trouble getting motivated and well, again, I like to eat.  Why can't we all have a Jillian Michaels?

BTW, I've never taken anything for dieting....ie. dexatrim etc.  But I am thinking about looking into Alli , anyone else try that one?  Curious if it works.

I'm in my biggest size Big Girl Jeans currently.  I won't buy them any bigger so I squeeze into them...or give up and wear sweats....mostly sweats.

Will....go on.....Do.... It....you...Chubby....Girl.
That is what I say to myself as I put on my jeans....between breaths.

So what's a girl like me to do?  I'm sure I'm not the only gal to struggle with this issue.  But truth is...I'm a chunker right now and I must do something about it. Must address it.  

It's been a while since I've done anything healthy really.  In fact my unhealthy hiatus has been on tour for almost five years now.  With everything going on in my life these days I need to work off the stress and get back to healthier habits. 

Just warning you...if you read my blog I will have to discuss this topic often.   I will fall off the wagon, probably ripping into brownies and cakes and good foods.....Being real here.  I might come across as a diet hypocrite.  You may read my rants in disgust, just warning. 

I will never be able to cut it all out...but I hope you continue to follow and comment still.  I am planning on getting much more active instead and maybe portion control....?  Yup that's my new plan.

Roller derby....that should whip my fannie right into shape.  Ouch..no thanks. 

All in all, I am resoluting (in my own way) to get healthier this year.  If I dabble in hobby eating it will be just that a dabble.  I will not completely diet, I know this. Making healthier choices, healthy eating habits and portion control is key right? 

I want to hear what ya'll have to say....what are your success stories, did you have to form new healthy habits, how did you change your lifestyles so that you could get healthier ? 

If you are like me now, just starting out and thinking on it, share what it is that you want to do?  I hope to read some input here.  A good plan requires good support.

One last poem for my Big Gal pants before I go...

Your days are now numbered thats for sure,
I'm waiting for the day you're worn no more.
These flabby legs soon will be tight
I'm vowing to try with all my might...
once this chocolate bar is gone from sight.
Me...this summer...he,he!

Oh lordy, I hope ya'll come back!  I have that give away and ya know that news I want to share...
still not the right time though, sorry.  Soon, promise....

Take good care!


  1. Oh, Dee, you crack me UP! I so know what you're talking about, except I'm not short. I have thought about running but I'm so afraid of serious injury (I'm quite clumsy!!) I just stick to walking. I have decided I will NEVER be the size I WANT to be, so if I can maintain, I'll be fine. I can always tell when my walking schedule gets interrupted, which seems to be every single time there's a holiday or something major going on in my life. I think it's our role as moms to make sure everyone else is taken care of and we put ourselves last. I know I shouldn't, but I DO.

    I wish you the best. I don't like counting calories, joining WW, I've been to Curves, I have the DVD set in my closet gathering dust, too!

    I guess I am saying "I'm here with you!"...but I cannot offer any answers! :-(

    I will support you in any way that I can! It's harder and harder to do the further away from thirty we get, and I am almost twenty years past thirty! AGH!!!

  2. Oh Gosh ..this is a fabulously true and authentic post I think we all would like to sit down and write ..

    I too was the atheletic One ..I too love to watch biggest loser with my snack in hand .. LOL !!!

    In July last year I had put on over 30 lbs at my biggest ever ..and I had it ..But I didn't give anything up ..I just started eating more protein ..watching my portions and not having sweets all the time !! LOL !!!

    I'm down 30lbs ..and sad to say but I didn't excercise .. so now I'm a flabby gabby ... Ewwwww !!! LOL !!!

    Good Luck ..we're pulling for you !!!

    Blessings ..Sara

  3. Dee, I know exactly where you're coming from and feel like I'm having the exact same struggles you are girlfriend! Please know that you are not alone. Things went down hill for me after I turned forty...I went through a rough turn a year ago or so...ended up at my heaviest and very depressed that I went on anti-anxiety/depression medication. I prayed for a way out of this and low and behold I found Zumba at our local community center...it was my life saver and while I can't say I've lost a lot of weight I can say that it has made me feel so much better! I have been off my medication since the beginning of May 2010. Best of luck to you :)

  4. I love playing my Wii, and you get exercise while playing! There's lots of games like bowling and tennis, but I love my dancing games! I've also been looking into getting an XBox Kinnex because it's like the Wii, but you don't even have to hold a controller. There are also plenty of workout games like Wii Fit or Zumba too. Have you thought about doing something like the Wii?

  5. Bravo!! Man, you hit it on the head and I feel the same way! I'm short too and 51 which age does matter because it's so much harder to lose after 40! I lost my half brother at the age of 55, sudden heart attack, a grandparent too around the same age so I'm trying to get better, less and get moving more. Even turning the grand kids play room in to a workout room, for all of us! I hope we can tag along with you!

  6. WOW!! While sitting here reading with a nutty bar in my hand/mouth. I wondered? When did I give her permission to write a post about me? ;-) It is my life to. the. T. Even the thyroid disorder. And yes, we have bought the books and videos, wasted money. We swore we would not buy anymore, because we knew what we needed to do. Only to have the UPS man knock on the back door as I waddle over to answer it in my sweats with the latest diet book from Amazon, hoping that maybe this book had some secret in it that the last one didn't. ARGH!!! It is so hard... I lost about 10 pounds the hard way with stomach flu in November. Not much fun, but I sure loved the weight loss, only to put it all back on during the holidays.
    And here we go again, trying to eat healthy, watch our portions~oops~did I say that was eating a nutty bar at the beginning of this comment? It is a battle that only gets harder with age! SIGH...

    I will say one thing that has helped me is to just eat half of every thing that I used to eat a whole portion of. That way I am not depriving myself for a week and then going off the deep end with a whole tub of ice cream because I can't stand it any longer. That means half a cheeseburger, half a banana, half a plate of pasta, half a bowl of oatmeal, even half a salad. Just another form of portion control I guess, but it works. Also something that has really helped is that I drink two 8 oz glasses of water thirty minutes prior to eating any meals. This way I get my daily water intake and I feel full before I even sit down to eat.

    Your post had me laughing out loud! Not at you, with you! I have also been inspired! It seems easier when you know your not alone! :-)

    Thanks for stopping by and visiting earlier. Your words were so kind. :-)

    Love Carissa

  7. Ahhhh!! I could have written this post! Every single line! I am actually pregant right now (hopefully last one) But I am really praying that once it is born I will be able to make a healthy balance & take care of me a little too! I want to read along & see how you do it & I need to get with it too!!!! Take care!

  8. OH Dee! You also hit the nail on the head for me also! I have not tries WW yet but am going to try it ( I think) I also do have the Wii fit and have thought about buying the Zumba but who knows.... I do know one thing though I am 46 and tired of all this weight I am carrying around! I too was into sports in High School(Basketball) and I went to the Dr.s yesterday and I am borderline diabetic, my cholesterol is climbing, my knees have arthritis in them (the weight is not helping) I am having female problems and she tells me if I get this weight off it will help everything that is going on with my body! So......what am I to do? I need to get off of my big gurl hiney and do something. Hope you figure something out and we all need to keep each others in our prayers! By the way, where do you get your vintage pictures and ads? have a blessed day!

  9. Oh my gosh! I love this post! This is me all over...and over...and over again!
    I don't set resolutions because I'm not a self-commitment type of person. I just can't do it.
    I started losing weight several years ago..lost 80 pounds in a 5 yr period..gained 20 of it back, and have recently (thanks to healthy eating and hitting the cardio class at the gym) I've lost 25 more. But, I haven't been or weighed in since mid December...this could be bad when I do go back!
    I'm not short and by no means am I thin. People comment on my big calf muscles all the time...but it's only from carrying all this weight around! Haha!
    Good luck with your weight loss/fitness goal! I'm right there with ya!
    P.S. I love your photos for this post!!! Too cute!

  10. Dee what a cute and honest down to earth post. I have always struggled with weight and have found moderation is best. You are so talented and made this topic readable with all the vintage images and I love the prayer you included. Think of you often and still praying daily for you and your loved ones. So glad to see a post and you re ok …….Hugs and thoughts, Emelia. PS, I hate to put away all the Christmas signs I purchased from you!

  11. What a great post Dee! So true for me as well. I have got to get busy on the same train you are on!! I have made my resolutions this year and that is one of them for me. I haven't done so good on the eating but have been walking. I hope you keep writing, it will keep me motivated :)

  12. Dee, you make me laugh!!! This had me cracking up!! To try and stay healthy, I have always followed the motto of moderation, and every once in a while have a freebie day! Also, for starting new habits, it is always best to start with one simple change and build from there...if it's too drastic, it won't stick!

  13. Dee I hear ya sister! I lost almost 60 lbs last year. I fear I have gained back 25 and still going. I know how to do it just don't feel motivated. I made the resolutions this year and sadly have already fell hard off the wagon. I'm trying to ease back into eating reasonably and moderate exercise. I support ya! Can"t wait to hear how it's going for ya! Traci

  14. HI Dee! I've been reading for a little while but haven't commented yet! I think you are in very good company, that's for sure. I had my daughter a year ago and thought surely nursing would just take the pounds right off just like it does with everyone else. As luck would have it, my daughter refused to nurse. I got her to do it exclusively for a month but that was it. Even though I was pumping 24-32 ounces of milk a day.....a maybe lost 3 or 4 lbs. maybe. Currently I'm at the same weight I was at a week after she was born. My husband is italian and his family can only think about foood!!! That's what it all revolves around. He freely admits it is true. I used to be a very picky eater...and then one day after we got married, I just began to LOVE EVERYTHING!! I can't think of a food I don't like now. I too have the skinny cousin as well! I love her dearly but she eats Hardees every day and stays the same weight. Darn her! :)

    The other thing is, I've noticed for me, it actually doesn't really matter how I eat. that's not what takes the weight off for me. It will bring me down 5lbs or so and then it's just a plateau. I seem to have like a 5lb fluctuation throughout the day and from day to day anyway. So I don't let that get to me. What matters to my body is exercise. And when it's cold out...I just don't feel like taking a walk or a jog!!!

    I soooo wish someone would start a walking/jogging club on their blog at like 6 am every morning so that I could have the motivation to get up and walk or run around the block and have someone to chat with when I got back!! Shoot, I should do it. None of my neighbors stay home or walk in the early am. But seriously, early AM is about the only time I have to exercise.

    As for triumphs? If I'm super diligent about cardio I notice the weight comes off. But it will so quickly come back the moment I eat more or stop the exercise. That's just my body I guess. I think we all need to remember that these skinny people...much of that is metabolism and hereditary luck. Totally genetics. So we need to go easy on ourselves and stop acting like it's absolutely completely our fault. I saw one comment above that said, "I'll never be at the size I want." That could be true in a way. I'll never be 120lbs again. That was when I was a teenager. Totally different time. That's not my adult weight. Nor would it be healthy for my height.

    Lastly, something that is making a huge difference in my personal weight struggle is to realize the heart of the matter. There are a few books out now linking overeating with spiritual hunger. I'm sure this doesn't apply to everyone but for people like me who look at food and crave it, who can taste food as they imagine it, who eats when alone, eats when sad and eats after already eating...there is a link into personal satisfaction with life. I have to realize that the food isn't what it is I'm really craving, and it will not solve the problem. If it did, I'd be done after the first jello cup or the first cookie. I'm really learning to appreciate food for what it is: Simply, food. Nothing more than calories to give me energy. It's such a love hate relationship isn't it!?

    I'll be glad to hear more about this topic. I think we all need to support one another! If you need to talk about it because it helps you stay accountable, I say do it.

    (ok - long first comment I guess! ;) )

    Remember -
    There's no time clock if you don't set one. One day at a time!


  15. Dee,

    Your post was so honest, you said things I have been saying to myself. I was there 2 years ago, size 6 and all, now I'm an uncomfortble 10. I know that sounds fine but not when I know what I used to feel like before. I had so much energy and I was super strong.

    My advice, ditch the diet mentality. If you liked sports then I would try to play again. Do something you enjoy. Walking is the easiest to start with, make an appt. with yourself everyday. Get a exercise buddy, someone you can be accountable to. You must do some type of strength and stretching exercise. I do Pilates. Then think healthy foods, cut out the plain junk food. If you must bake, or have sweet treats eat those 10% of the time or just have a few bites. This will help you stay on an even kiel without blowing it entirely. I'm taking Zumba and I really like that. Best of luck!

  16. Unfortunately miserable starvation(my perception), and exercise is the only thing that works. I would say drinking alcohol in lieu of sweets is a winner too, but I don't like having a hangover...So, I will stick with the perceived starvation and movement, always works like a charm, now, to follow through on that, if I'd just stick to that! You can do it!

  17. OMG ya sound just like me, I suffer from sevear IBS so I cant eat any fatty junky foods and yet I have gained weight and I am full blown menopause started that at 40, 45 now, 5 years ago I was 125lbs now I am well, you do the math need to loose 35 to 40 lbs and you think your short lol bet ya cant beat 4'9' thats me , I carry the weight well so I have been told ,short stocky but paportioned ! I to was very active back in the day, long distance cyclist, played fast ball as well, walked every were now adays Im lucky I can get out of bed , I have cronik pains just about everywere, have no energy and feel just plain YUK every day, but the Dr said Im fine all tests are good BULL! if so then why do I feel like this have no answers so each and every day I am just glad to be above ground weather I am a chunky monkey, shake what my mama gave me and all that cause my hubby loves me no matter what and besides he likes the cushin tells me he likes to have something to hold on to when he cuddles me ! Thats whats important to me ! One day I will feel healthy and look it but for now I just take it day by day ! great post. Have a wonderful day !

  18. I need to jump on the bandwagon with you Dee..cause I need to feel better..hips ache, feet hurt..but other then that I feel great..so its time..I have been thin, heavy, thin and now heavy again..and the last one..I just counted my fat grams..ate whatever I wanted..but I did the portion sizes and kept track to eat no more then 30 grams of fat a day..and I exercised and I lost 80 pounds in about 9 months..felt wonderful..need to get back on it again.;)take care..I am following you again.;)

  19. What a great post and thank you for your honesty. You have inspired me. I struggle with this also. I love food and hate exercise, but I am also recommitting myself this year to get in good, healthy shape. Good luck to you Dee

  20. Just remember girls ! WE ARE NOT ALONE! in all of this. I loved your post so honest, true and humoruse cause its exactly how I feel about it all and would describe it and I loved the responce of comments as well. We will stick together through all of this and just remember we are all beautiful, funny, unique, HOT SEXY GALS no matter what size we are !

  21. I know how you feel...I was thin when I was young, but after getting pregnant with my first child...I gained alot of weight and could never lose it. So started my yo-yo with losing weight and gaining weight. About 16 years ago, I lost 60 lbs and was thin again for several years Then I gained it all back, plus some!

    Two years ago...I joined WW on-line and lost 45 pounds and have kept it off, but can't seem to lose any more weight. I need to lose about 30 to 35 more. I'm now looking for something else to try beside WW. I have a friend that used Alli and she lost 50 lbs, but she has now gained it back after about 2 years.

    I've learned over time...to take it one day at a time and not to give up if I get off track. I also allow myself a few sweets and yummy dinner dishes...because if I don't I know that I will give up.

    Best Wishes as you start your weight loss journey.

  22. Well said.... loved this post!!! I'm right there with you. Decided I would start running, my hip bursitis flared up.... started taking ibuprofen... went to the dr. yesterday and my blood pressure was sky high...."STOP TAKING IBUPROFEN" he says. But what about my hip? Take Tylenol he says... which I know doesn't work for my hip. So guess who gave up running already???? Good luck!

  23. You and me both sister! I am over 50 and it is a slow uphill climb to drop the lbs. My only advice is make little goals...5lbs at a time...and celebrate when you get there with something other than food. My personal favorite is some cute fabric at the quilt store. Don't get caught up in your "perfect" weight. Just do good things and see where you end up. Do it while you are young. All that said, you have inspired me to get out there and walk more each week ....let's do it!!!!

  24. Hi! I tried the Flat Belly Diet and was successful. It is based on a Mediterranean diet and you have to like/be able to eat avocados, dark chocolate, nuts and seeds, oils and olives. You don't have to like all of them. The diet provides ideas and meals for all of the choices, so if you only like dark chocolate and nuts but you can cook with olive oil, you can make it work. I lost about ten pounds, but I was walking a lot too. My sister lost 17 lbs and was not exercising. It is a very healthy way to eat and tastes great. You do have to plan ahead so you have the items in your house. But I will say that when I went off course, I didn't feel as good as I did when on it. See if you can get the book from the library so you can check it out before you buy the book. We also got info on it from Prevention magazine. They wrote the cookbook. Sorry this was so long. I guess I had a lot to say!! Good luck!

  25. I enjoyed your blog. I love your kitchen color! Would you mind telling me the color of it? Also, I like the color of the room with the ice skates hanging in there. My home caught on fire 3 months ago and we had to move. All the sheet rook,cabinets and floors have to be replaced. It will still be a while before we can move back. I want my kitchen this color and a bedroom the other color.
    Thanks so much!


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